My Problem with the No H8 Campaign

I've been thinking about this for a long time, now, wondering how to put my thoughts in to words. I realized today that Martin Luther King Jr. Day might actually be a good day to say what I've been wanting to say. Today is a celebration of acceptance and understanding, and I hope to portray these things in what I have to say. I veered a little psychologically in my last post, and a little political in this one, but I think these are valuable things to think about, and thinking is the most important thing writers can do.

My problem with the No H8 Campaign is this: it makes the emotional/social presumption that two things are incompatible: 1) Accepting, loving, not-hating homosexuals, and 2) being in favor of Proposition 8. I do not find these two things incompatible. Some of the most wonderful, talented and intelligent people I know are homosexual. At the same time, I am not in favor of gay marriage and in favor of Proposition 8. I believe that is my right, I and don't want to feel guilty or feel like a "h8r" because of it.

I feel that the discrimination and misunderstanding experienced by the LGBT community is absolutely awful. We as a society should be so beyond that. I feel like those in favor of Proposition 8 have also experienced discrimination, misunderstanding, and have also been made to feel like horrible people for believing and thinking what they do. Most importantly, I do not think that it is helpful at all for either side to play the victim. Everyone has experienced pain, discrimination and misunderstanding. Pointing fingers doesn't do anyone any good and only adds to the misunderstanding.

In short, I do not want to be pegged a "hater" for being against gay marriage and in favor of Proposition 8. I have a right to believe what I believe about marriage, that does not mean I'm discriminating against anyone. There are arguments in favor of gay marriage and arguments against it, and after careful consideration I have decided against. That is my right, as it is everyone's right to chose for themselves, the important thing, I think, is to take each side seriously. The damage comes when we think in stereotypes or take peoples beliefs as a personal attack.

I recognize that humans have a negative history of using things like religion and race to discriminate, coerce and exploit, and I have heard these things mentioned in context of the gay rights issue. To grossly oversimplify my opinion, I believe these are false comparisons because race and sexual orientation are very different, and religion is way too complex to be reduced to one issue and has been used in the name of absolute heinousness and absolute wonder for the whole of human history and probably always will be.

I hope all of this makes sense, I recognize a lot of it is generalization, and I hope I haven't offended anyone too bad. I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, and I also believe sexual orientation makes absolutely no difference in the value of an individual. Nobody should ever be treated disrespectfully, exploitively or discrimintavely, least of all because of their race, religion or orientation. But again, I believe marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, but please keep things civil and intelligent. Happy writing.

Sarah Allen