Safety Last! (Again)

see original review here

1923 movie that is better than 2008's College Road Trip

Rating: 17/20

Plot: Students at an inner city school go on a field trip to the high school they'll be attending next year. When they get back to their school, they're treated to a movie. One group of students with an especially mean teacher doesn't like the movie that they're being shown (certified classic College Road Trip)and force-feeds them a silent comedy instead. The students whine and whine, and the teacher, probably because he's the devil, just sits back and laughs.

I even gave them a slip of paper to write some comments and rate the movie. When asked to describe the movie in one word, I got these answers:

boring
lame
boreing
old
funny
useless
silent
interesting
awful
old fashioned
wierd
retarted
quiet
relaxing
bum!
wordless
different
depressing

Their ratings: 15, 7, 14, 10, 8, 10, -20, 2, 15, 10, 1.5, 2, 8, 10, 17, 10, 1, 1, 3, 13, 2, 0, 9.5, 10, 3, -20, 1

But just like the last time I forced silent comedy on the youth of America, they watched for the duration (I read lots of noise from my two neighbors watching College Road Trip) and laughed at the appropriate times. They really got into the climactic building-climbing scene, oohing and aahing. Sure, Harold Lloyd got called "gay" a few times, and I know the music drove them absolutely nuts. Nevertheless, I think a lot of them liked the movie a lot more than their scores might indicate.

Other gripes (from their sheets):

"I didn't like having to read."
"The end was really good."
"It's not a movie. It's a big waste of time."
"It has no sound to make up for the silence."
"Black & white movies are boring and old."
"I don't like that the guy lied to the girl."
"It was funny. He was always doing something or getting into trouble, but he got by with it."
"I liked that he was trying to impress the girl but was an epic fail at life."
"I liked the music."
"It's too hard to understand."
"It was a horibile movie."
"People were moving too fast in some parts."
"It was mildly entertaining. Not bad--better than I expected." Same person: "I didn't like that the guy was lying through the whole thing."
"It had some funny stuff that made me laugh."
"No talking is boring!!!!!!!!!"

One more thing: Looking back at my old write-ups for Harold Lloyd movies, I always get annoyed with myself when I see how mean I was to the poor guy. I never called him "gay" or anything, but I was completely wrong in refusing to put him in the same class with Keaton and Chaplin. Dude's a comedy stud even though he moves too fast in some parts or stars in movies that are too hard to understand.

And here's a shot from the Harold Lloyd appearance on The Simpsons. Unless he's just yellow on my computer.

Christmas Eve Movie Extravaganza!

We watched A Charlie Brown Christmas, It's a Wonderful Life, and A Christmas Story back-to-back-to-back on Christmas Eve.

The Peanuts gang still has the power to, for whatever reason, arouse me sexually. My psychologist has suggested that I don't discuss this with anybody.

It's a Wondeful Life. . .what can I say? I seem to like it a little more each time I see it. It's far from perfect, but it's a touching story with a great message. I'd bump it up a point to a 15/20, but I think I'll bump it up an extra point and call it Cory's Christmas present. So a 16/20 for me, an 18/20 for Jen, an 11/20 for Dylan, a 12/20 for Emma, and a 17/20 for Abbey.

And A Christmas Story: 16/20 for me. Nobody else in my family had previously seen it. Jen: 16/20; Dylan: 12/20; Emma: 12/20; Abbey: 10/20. I think Peter Billingsly's performance is my favorite child acting performance ever. My home town is mentioned in this movie.

Merry Christmas, four-and-a-half readers!

Elf

2003 holiday comedy

Rating: 10/20 (Toby: 5/20; Kasey: 10/20; Tramayne: 7/20; Dakota: 13/20; Tyler: 1/20; Derrick: 10/20; Jacob: 12/20; Kendrick: 15/20; Jazzmin: 3/20; Taylor: 17/20; Brionna: 20/20; Michaela: 16/20; Hailey: 12/20; Damion: 19.9/20; Mikhail: 1.5/20; David: 15/20; Kimberly: 16/20; Yamira: 20/20; Stephen: 4/20; Sebastian: 2/20; Elizabeth: 20/20; Brianna: 15/20; Rahim: 15/20; Austin: 13/20; Krista: 10/20)

This is already on the blog right here.
The movie isn't any better now, but I learned that middle schoolers like when Will Ferrell runs face-first into walls. Well, I guess I knew that already which makes Elf completely useless to me. And look at that poster up there. I don't want to watch a movie that features a guy who can make that face. In fact, no more Will Ferrell movies for me. You have my word that you won't see him on these pages ever again.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (again)

2008 action movie

RatingPlot/: see my original thoughts here

I saw this again for a pair of reasons: 1) Abbey wanted to see it. 2) Cory promised he'd watch the brilliant comedy The Happening if I watched this again. My thoughts are about the same. I really enjoyed the first half, and completely disagree with people's complaints about Harrison Ford being too old to do this sort of thing. I think he does a remarkable job with a character that he hasn't touched in twenty years. And during the first half of the movie, I don't mind Shooby Leboof either. I think he and Ford have a nice rapport, although maybe not quite as good or as funny as Connery and Ford in the third movie. I really like how the franchise is pulled into the issues and fears of the 1950s, and the alien twist, although on the surface seeming completely out of place in an Indiana Jones movie, works as a link to B-movie sensibilities of that era just like the original movies borrowed so heavily from the ebb and flow of the action serials they were based on. One difference in my opinion is that I don't like the overall look of the film as much as I thought I did. There's an onslaught of special effects and computer graphics, at least compared to the earlier films, that just does not fit. The second half of the movie, pretty much from the beginning of the jungle chase scene on, ain't pretty. I'd say that things just keep getting dumber and dumber and dumber, but the Shooby Leboof Tarzan impression happens too early. That's definitely a low point of the franchise. No, Indy 4 is not Raiders of the Lost Ark, but I still think it serves its number one purpose--entertaining dumbasses.

Revised ratings: I should probably go ahead and give Raiders a 20 since it might be my favorite movie of all time. Temple is a 12, but that's being generous. Crusade is a 16. And this one is in the 13/14 range, right in between the other two sequels. Indy 5 needs to have either Short Round or a young Greedo in it or I'll be pissed.

The Last Man on Earth

To celebrate the two year anniversary of when I last saw The Last Man on Earth, I decided to watch it again.

Long before the impressive "man" streak, long before my beard was longer than it is now but shorter than it was before, long before my wife threatened to take my life because of this blog, and long before I was ready to admit that Vincent Price is the greatest actor of all time, I sat down and watched this, the first adaptation of Richard Matheson's I Am Legend. It was June 23, 2008. I sat down with my action pants (a pair of tights with a jock strap worn over them), a muscle shirt, and a bowl containing approximately eight servings of tapioca pudding, and I watched The Last Man on Earth. Halfway through, I realized (and I've never told anybody about this before, but this is the kind of thing you share on two year anniversaries) that the ghost of Vincent Price, sans pants (action or otherwise), had sat beside me, leaning forward slightly and fondling the coffee table like it was a woman. We watched the rest of the movie together. I laughed twice, and he shot me a look like you see on the poster there. I yawned once; he shot me the same look. One year and two days later, while I was celebrating the one year anniversary of when I watched The Last Man on Earth, I was playing Michael Jackson's Thriller, and the song "Thriller" came on. I had attached jumper cables to my nipples in anticipation of the part of the song where Vincent Price laughs, and at that precise moment, my telephone rang and a man named Lucas who I had briefly, at a gas station in Nebraska, conversed with about how many different kinds of soda pops there were now compared to when he was a kid and then never seen again informed me that the King of Pop had died. "I thought you'd like to hear it from me first," he said. "I'm drinking something called a Grape Crush. Where the hell do they come up with this stuff?" That night, I was visited once again by the ghost of Vincent Price, sans shirt this time, and we wept together while he quoted a line from "Thriller": "Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together. Yeah." It was one of five life-changing experiences I had that week, but I don't remember the other four.

You can find my other write-up on June 23, 2008. My feelings haven't really changed. I think Price is excellent as usual. This movie really starts strong, sags in the middle with a really long flashback, and then has an unsatisfying conclusion. There are some great opening shots--empty gray buildings and streets, a gray sunrise, haunting gray corpses curled up on sidewalks or across stone steps, abandoned gray automobiles, a church sign with the ominous message "The end has come." And this has such a great opening line (Price's narration): "Another day to live through; better get started." The zombies really remind me of Romero's in Night of the Living Dead, but that could just be that I haven't seen a black and white zombie movie in a long time. I'd still rather them be mute though. When the zombies are first shown in motion, it's right after Vincent Price's character has thrown on a jazz record, and it looks for a moment like they're dancing. Something else I noticed this time around: There's a scene where Price is watching film, and he starts laughing at a scene with monkeys. It reminded me of the scene in Ghostrider where Nicolas Cage is laughing at televised monkeys, a scene that, if you haven't had to pleasure of watching Ghostrider yet, is very nearly a religious experience.

This is, for those of you keeping score, 50% better than The Omega Man and over 100% better than the terrible I Am Legend. And before you accuse me otherwise, that has nothing to do with my opinion on rights to own firearms or my racism.

The Cameraman

1928 comedy

This is already on the blog, and my opinion hasn't really changed. Everybody should see this movie. I think this one is an example of a movie that is actually great rather than being just a great Buster Keaton movie. Apparently, I'm a little biased some times. A couple things:

1) Very few title cards used in this. They did a good job showing the "dialogue" nonverbally.

2) Marceline Day might have been Buster's most attractive love interest, good looking enough that I'm planning on using some of the tips I learned from A Guide for the Married Man and attempting to hook up with her.

3) I'm still convinced that Josephine the Monkey's performance in this is one of the best performances by monkey or human in movie history. Josephine makes Christian Bale look like a hack!

Now, for your review, my ranking of Buster Keaton's silent films:

1) The General
2) Steamboat Bill, Jr.
3) The Cameraman
4) Sherlock Jr.
5) Our Hospitality
6) The Navigator
7) Go West
8) Seven Chances
9) Three Ages
10) Battling Butler
11) College

I haven't seen The Saphead yet. I'm not sure why.

The Gold Rush (again)

1925 movie

Rating: 19/20

Plot: Same as it was the last time I wrote about this movie.

Here's the deal. Friday was a wasteful party day at my school, and my team decided to show the students a movie. It was decided that the team would watch Old Dogs, the classic film featuring the comedic stylings of Robin Williams and John Travolta. I protested mightily, not because I didn't think my students would enjoy Old Dogs, but because I don't really care what my students like and didn't have any interest in watching Old Dogs. My teammates wouldn't listen to me, but I decided to bring in my own movie to show the students in my classroom. "But they'll like Old Dogs. You can't show a silent movie to them." "Yeah, they would like to eat chocolate frosting straight out the can for lunch every day--doesn't mean it's good for them." I gave the good news to my students. They groaned and whined. I told them that I was only doing it because I loved them. They reached for their weapons. I quickly started the movie. I had my students write down their ratings (figured I'd get more honest ones that way), and here's what they had to say. They'd probably better articulate their feelings about The Gold Rush if they had a better writing teacher.

Elizabeth: 17/20. It was good. Funny, interesting.
Harley: 13/20. It had a lot of comedy, but there was just too much. It had romance and little action.
Candice: 10/20. It was OK I guess. It had interesting parts.
Sean: 16/20. Narrated, would've been better if own voices
Kayla: 20/20. Unique
Jasmine: 10/20. It was okay the action wasn't that bad but we could tell it was fake.
Robin: 9/20. It was boring. Well at least to me it was. There were some funny parts here and there.
Morgan: 1/20. A waste of my time, boring. (Morgan later admitted that she rated and wrote that during the opening credits.)
Kris: 5/20. This was moderately humorous movie back in the "20's" but as times change, the hearts (?) of funny does too. It is also has no audio which means there is more showing the audience what happens rather than telling us. Overall it was an OK movie. It was better than it seemed.
James: 15/20. It was funny, and the narrator said different things than they were. (Note: Funny-looking kid.)
T. T. : 15/20. Boring, funny, good but depressing. (I can't even figure out who "T.T." is.)
DeArion: nr. DaArion snuck out of my classroom and didn't watch the movie. He apparently watched Old Dogs somewhere else.
Makaela: 5/20. It is at least a motion picture. It wasn't very interesting to me. (Note: I couldn't figure out what she meant with "It is at least a motion picture." I finally figured out that she was talking about how it was silent but at least the characters were moving.)
Brad: -20/20. (Note: This kid's a doofus. He whined loudest of all before the movie started, put his head down for a lot of the first fourth, and watched the last three-fourths with interest. I even caught him laughing.) Terrible.
Mireya: 18/20. Because you had to imagine what they were saying. It was funny because of the man. I like when the house was going to fall.
Jared: -20/20. It's retarded. It's black and white. (This kid's grade just plummeted.)
Kore: 15/20. It was funny and good. But it was boring.
Bria: 11/20. Boring.
Courtlyn: 2/20. To be honest, I hate black and white movies, and I would of liked the other movie.

I was disappointed. They watched with interest and laughed at the appropriate times. I really thought they were liking this more than they said they did. Oh, well. What should I show them next time? (Must be G or PG.)