Writing that catches one Agent's eye

Many of us enjoy Curtis Brown agent Nathan Bransford's daily blog. His focus is on the art of writing and not only is he knowledgable and happy to share his knowledge but he's funny and entertaining too.

Nathan recently held his 'best first paragraph' contest where anyone could submit the first paragraph of their WIP for the potential of winning fabulous prizes. Over 1300 (!) entries later (he only had the contest open for a few days...) he picked his top finalists and posted their entries on his blog along with this thoughts about why they intrigued him - which I'm listing below. If you want to read his whole post go here. Otherwise, here are Nathan's top picks (congrats to the winners!) and his reasons why, giving all of us writers in the group a little food for thought:

The Winners:
Natalie has an immediately catchy high concept plot (ninja school!) combined with a very effective voice. In particular, I really respect the second sentence: "Of course, he’s says it all ninja-like, but that’s the gist." A paragraph about ninja school itself might make a good opener, but this sentence builds a character: the narrator's father adopts a ninja-like voice to say something as simple as "keep it simple stupid." Hilarious! Natalie's paragraph also shows a deft touch by conveying a unique voice without being too chatty. It has a breezy style, but note that other than the above-quoted sentence and the word "dude," the rest of it is not chatty. Just enough to get to sense of the voice without being over the top. Very well done.

Morgan's paragraph balances a couple of different elements in a way that I find very effective. This paragraph packs in quite a lot of plot, but that's not all that it accomplishes. It also conveys a keen sense of style -- there's a breathlessness to the writing that lends a feeling of importance to the descriptions. Also, normally I don't like it when a series of unknown words and concepts are thrown at me right away, but in this paragraph they are described and named in a way that I can get a taste of the meaning and deduce enough of the world to stay within the paragraph without worrying that I don't understand everything. And the idea of a twin within a twin.... intriguing.

Steve Axelrod (not the agent, btw) steadily builds a memorable image: a girl walking onto a Cape Cod island without knowing the effect she's going to have. The details are evocative and memorable, and the flow impeccable. Quite a few people have asked about the closing simile. Normally I don't care for big bold similes, but this one really works for me. It didn't take me out of the world because everyone knows what an avalanche is, and it also, in an effective way, contrasts directly with the sun-drenched imagery. It's also evocative to think of setting an avalanche off with a sigh. It just works.

MA's was the shortest of the bunch, just two sentences. It wasn't just the image of blood in the shape of a butterfly that led me to choose this paragraph. Rather, it's the combination of an evocative opening image along with the description of the blood sparkling on the kitchen floor (two pretty descriptions that contrast with the fact that it's blood). Plus there's a certain casualness and distance on the part of the observing character. It accomplishes a great deal in just a few words.

Alexa's paragraph is a study in steadily building a memorable character. Having read so many paragraphs that began with the weather (particularly bad weather), I was sucked in by the feint that the narrator is describing how the weather would be in one of her mom's novels. Combine that with a perfectly-described and memorable fashion choice at a funeral ("defiant yellow and movie star sunglasses" just flows), and you have a sense of a very unique individual. It's all built through imagery rather than straightforward description.

Lastly, Chris' paragraph snuck in precisely at the Thursday 4pm deadline. It's an intriguing setup -- a group of heliophobes meeting in a strange place with some interesting animosity toward the sun. It's the combination of a big idea (heliophobes) with small details (the z-shaped ramp, the eggs in the belfry) that makes this come alive.